Is it Anxiety?

By: Simantha
Soooooo…… yesterday I had a complete breakdown. I don’t know what really happen or if I can even identify what’s going on with me. Oh no wait, I can’t really say I don’t know what’s going on. I was aware that some type of anxiety was coming and I didn’t want to identify it with stress but I knew it was something. I mean what is anxiety? An underlying feeling? I mean I’m worried about a few things with the New Year coming, annoyed with being apart of something and everyone not giving their 100 percent and just simply maintaining. Now, what happen yesterday - I was riding down the street on the phone with one of my really good friends and got annoyed with another really good friend. Now first off the problem is that I’m writing this post and nobody knows but they will be able to identify themselves if they ever find this blog or read this post - funny but not funny. I ended up getting so upset on the phone and I literally just took off on my friend and was speeding. And before you know it the cops was behind me…. I got a $180.50 tickets and 4 points on my liciense. I ended up sitting in the front seat with the big kids in the backseat, crying. My friend on the phone said she had to dial back and realized it was something else going on to understand where this breakdown was coming from. Truth is, I needed a moment and she was right there for me. We talked, I calmed down, and we ended the conversation on a good note. I use to be the type of person where I would always just say what needed to be said, but since my children are getting older I no longer have the energy to focus on grown people because I have to put my focus on them. This has not been good for me, holding things in causes me to exploded at the wrong time - all the time! I can’t seem to find my place without using my words. (can you understand that?...) Partially the reason I started the blog… I need some type of release! Now, for me it’s about a solution. I’ve decided to re-read “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff and It’s All Small Stuff” by Richard Carlson. I am going to start taking a complete day where I don’t speak on the phone with anyone and I am going to start at the New Year reading my Sunday School book again. MY FOCUS ON MYSELF HAS TO CHANGE. My husband always says, If you know better - Do Better!

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