Was it Really My Hair?

So the other day I was trying to figure out what I was going to do to my hair and decided on getting some braids. Backstory - I have always and I mean always wore my hair short. If I had hair it was only for a minute and then I would go back into cutting my hair off again. I like my hair short and shaved as low as possible in the back. Then here comes my husband out of nowhere (probably looking at them weaves online) says why don’t you let your hair grow out (rolling my eyes) thinking to myself like you have to be kidding me I’m now grey and the middle of my hair thinning but I reluctantly say okay and now I’m walking around looking a hot mess! I decided to get some braids…. I don’t know why… I get braids and I immediately think it's too much hair for me. She put so much hair on my head. The braids are cute, she braided them perfectly and they are flat. The girl knows what she is doing, it’s just too much on my head. The point…. I was standing in the mirror looking at myself and saying Simantha you got to get it together. I mean you are about to be 40 and you don’t even have your look together. LIke, Simantha what have you been doing for the last 10 years (having kids) why you ain’t got it together. I know, I know, I know what you’re gonna say but reality is I still think I should have some type of look about myself at all times and I don’t. I’m not beating myself up but I am beating myself up…… Later on I had to get myself together to go somewhere and I came together but it’s not the look I was trying to go for. I was looking for something different in myself and I think I know but then again I don’t know. What is a mature lady to do? I’m going to work on growing my hair and making a few lifestyle changes and see where it takes me….. I should get somewhere right… hopefully to the place or light I want to be…...